Are you among the thousands of motorists in Malaysia who went to fill up your car on the Monday evening of September 2nd? Well if you managed to survive the queue which is reflective with the queue during the “Minionmania” in McDonalds, then congratulations, you have saved RM10 from your wallet. To celebrate your long moment at the petrol station, you headed on to the shop to get a king-size Marlboro Lights or hop into the nearest Starbucks for a cup of latte. That sounded a little travesty right?

Were you there after PM Najib announced the fuel hike?

As expected, every time the Malaysian government raises fuel price to reduce the burdening fuel subsidy, it attracts negative fanfare from the “rakyat”. A twenty cent increase per liter where the world’s oil price was stable and public transportation in Malaysia isn’t well shaped will not be well received by any ordinary Malaysian; who many still struggling to make ends meet. We feel pinched forking up a possible additional RM50 per month for fuel purchases and worrying prices of food and other essential goods will follow the domino effect. As much as I belonged to that category, after all, on hindsight we should be thankful on this round it isn’t that bad actually.

No, I yet to be thankful our country is “peaceful” and I welcome any law to legally allow cops to ram those snatch thieves till kingdom come

The reality is we can’t be too addictive on fuel subsidies for long and for this round of increase, on average we need to fork additional at average RM10 per tank. From the other perspective it doesn’t seem that bad as RM10 doesn’t seem much today. You may want to disagree but come think of it, what is the most recent thing you spend RM10 on? A pack of cigarettes? FHM Sept issue? Mocha Frap? A McDonald Minion toy set (I bet you fork more than RM10). Unless you’ve been eating Maggie mee for your rest of your life, you can’t get decent weekly grocery for less than RM50.

Cheer up, there’s always a bright side when fuel prices hike!

We all by all means should not feel enraged or pinched with forking up more money for fuel, and should instead look at the bright side of life. After all, with the fuel hike, these benefits can be achieved:

1. With pricier fuel means easier to collect more BonusLink, Mesra, what so ever loyalty points.

2. With higher fuel price means petrol heads and rempits will think twice to burn fuel during Saturday nights, which means you can have quiet romantic moments with your partner. Don’t ever think of the word “I’m tired” excuse please.

3. Crimes might go less! Snatch thieves may resort to bicycle or manual running since it is too much to fuel their bikes. Molotov cocktails will be too expensive which leaves arsonists to lose their jobs.

4. The Selangor folks will have uninterrupted clean water since dumping expensive diesels/lubricants to rivers is not a good idea after all.

5. Encourages carpool! Always want to know the cute receptionist girl in your office? Ask her where she stays and offer her the ride to work. Who knows she will become your wife which both of you can carpool for longer time.

6. Best of all; think of the migrants who work at the pump. They will need to boost up their communication skills, so they will able to converse you on this “Welcome Sir, would you to pay cash, credit card or trade your arms or kidney for fuel?”

Need to find ways to allow your exhaust to continue coughing money? Read below

Still if you not sure how to save RM10 per tank so you can squish more for fuel, consider these 13 tips that I can think off:

1. Walk if it’s short distance and reasonable enough. I’m not asking you to walk from Damansara to KLCC. The fact is Malaysians are lazy to walk even if it is just a stone throw away and that explains why we can have sufficient representatives from Malaysia to supply models on the “Before” on weight lost campaign posters. You may complain the heat but there always an umbrella or a hat for you.

2. Why fork RM10 for Starbucks? You need some shots? Try this, go to your pantry’s nescafe supply and take as many coffee powder as you dare to your mug. Just add a small amount of hot water enough to dilute the coffee powder. Voila, it’s espresso that still good enough to make you awake for at least a night.

Doesn’t matter if you want to taste the rich aroma of Dark Sumatra or Kenyan beans but as long the caffeine boost that allows you to stay awake until end of office hours that’s good enough in my book.

3. How about latte or cappuccino? You need shots to make latte right? Refer point 2. After all, DIY coffee is much fun.

4. Forget using Ambi Pure in your car. Spray some Febreeze to the interior and it may last you a year.

5. Bring some CDs of “The best of Jazz”, “Essential New Age tunes” or “Easy Relaxing Hits” and throw away all your other CDs. Misconfigure all other radio stations since listening to Malaysian news or local DJs with fake accent does increase high blood pressure that leads to aggressive driving and hence burning more fuel.

Embrace and sing “Let it be” from the Beatles when someone cuts you off. You’ll be amazed that you drive much calmer and slower which leads to incredible savings on fuel.

6. Stuck at traffic jam? Stop your car at the nearest parking lot and meditate. Calm yourself until the traffic clears then you can drive with less frustration and less fuel burned.

7. Don’t ever think of buying extra credits for Plants vs Zombies or Candy Crush saga.

8. Cancel the Sports package on Astro and watch the EPL live on Unifi if you a football fan. Too bad if you support Barcelona.

9. So you’re a smoker? Cut down a pack or two for your health. But if you can’t, and if you have smoking friends, beg a stick from them once a while, for sure they’ll hardly say no. Don’t overdo it else friendship will end up in smoke.

10. Steal water from the pantry if possible. Take the toilet rolls from the office toilet if can. After all, you contribute profits and services to your company. No harm should there be no shares for staff option. Not applicable for those staying in Selangor state, afterall water is free!

11. Save the Internet data plan by always dropping by at your friend’s house who has Unifi. This may look good for friendship wise unless if you plan to sell the latest insurance plan to them.

12. Downside your food. Omit the fried chicken on your Nasi Goreng and downsize from large to medium in Carls Junior. With exercising and walking more (refer point 1) and reducing your food intake, your beer belly might be gone and if you work harder, you may in shape like King Leonidas. No need to thank me on that.

13. When cost of living and fuel prices increases, asking for a pay raise would be logical. But if rejected, why not seek greener pastures? Upgrade yourself with new skills/education and find a place that pays well. After all, Gareth Bale won’t be going to Real Madrid for the sake of his passion of scoring goals after all.

As you can see, what Timon and Pumba always believe it, there is no worries no matter what so ever. If still you can’t save up money for fuel to support your lifestyle, consider work harder, or perhaps, sign up to trade your kidney for fuel plan.

20 cents increase? No worries!Afterall, these three folks here do not own any car